Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Does Netflix Suck?

So Netflix raised their price a couple of months ago for Blu-ray customers under the guise of adding more blu-ray titles and greater quantity of each title. This should have alleviated long wait times.

I'm trying Blockuster's free trial and they have already shipped two title that are a long wait on Netflix. One of them I've been waiting for a month on. Netflix your days are numbered for me. Comcast, your next!

Netflix Queue:


BB Queue:



We'll see who wins my $$$ at the end of two weeks!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sugar Art

Step back Warhol, your pop art isn't as sweet as mine. I started decorating all the sugar packets in the break room. I want to see if anyone notices. People still haven't noticed that I mismatch the coffee brew with the wrong canister. My next maneuver will be some kind of foolery with the instant creamer. What is that crap anyway?

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Giant of the Front Range

So Saturday I did a Tour stage with Scottytime. Somehow we got the bright idea of riding to the Top of Mt. Evans from lakewood. I'm not even sure how many miles that is, but its a couple horizontally and vertically. Seeing how I like to look good on my bike, we opted to drop a car at the ranger station with all of out winter gear and food. I'd recommend this to all, you know you just look dumb with all your crap crammed in to your pockets. The start was nice, fairly warm, which is good when your going to 14,000 feet. No problems getting up to and over Squaw pass to the ranger station. We kitted up and started the climb. Unfortunately we turned around no to far from Summit lake. Neither one of us are a fan of near zero visibility and rain above tree-line. We turned around and did our best to enhance drivers views on cyclists, by that I mean we rode 20 mph over the speed limit an a passed cars on double-yellow. Back at the car drop I dumped my clothes and Scotty, he was doing a crit the next day so 4 hrs was enough for him. Me, I wanted to really get to know the saddle so I continued on bike. Maybe not the best idea. I was chased by the rain monster all the way back to Evergreen, I only got sprinkled on but the down pour was never more than 10 feet behind me. Towards the end I decided I was going to make it 100 miles. This involved searching out every inch of Bear Creek Lake park to pack on distance. I even ducked in to some single track on the road bike for an extra quarter mile. When it was all said and done 101 miles 6 hrs and 51 minutes.

This is also the most boring post to date. It's hard to get creative and clever when you haven't done crap at work for a week.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Plant

This Plant has 92 leaves. I counted them about five minutes ago. What am I going to do with the next six hours of my day?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Driving Rant

So I merge from 6th Ave to I25 everyday and it just amazes me that slow traffic is almost always because nobody can merge. Exhibit 1. You have one mile to merge from I25 to Santa Fe, why must 95% of the people accomplish this in the first 100 feet. The problem is so severe people actually stop as if they are making a left turn. I usually drive 55 for this mile while everyone is stopped and merge effortlessly.


I used to go North on I-25 and no one could fathom that there was two lanes on the fly-over, again magic, 55 mph to effortless merge. I mean civil engineers are generally smart people. The roads have a higher capacity if we use them correctly. Then again my commute is easier if you / they never figure it out.


How I killed the Salad Bar

I just wanted to document how I systematically destroyed the Granby, City Market Salad Bar. SO there I was 3 hours post Nationals XC, just about to drive home, and the bottom fell out of my stomach. In cycling speak it was a complete sidewall tear with a geyser of stans, arcing out 0f the void. Not even a tube was going going to fix that hole. I tore in to the parking lot, and fell out of my car, pretty spry for my post race coma state. When I arrived at the glory hole, a nice lady was packing up it's contents. She said it was closed, I said "how closed". She must have felt sorry for me and offered up the throw-away cart. I laid in to the cottage cheese like a weed-eater on the nats course, i even used the big serving spoon. Next up was the tuna salad, no more fish left in that sea. Then I spyed the holy grail of City Market salad bars, ham cubes. You see the Whole Foods salad bar is too good for ham cubes. The MFK has never met a ham cube he didn't like. I scraped the sides of that bucket like a frosting bowl, enjoying every semi-salty processed ham pleasure. At this point the little old lady was a little worried. I think she saw me eyeing the hot bar with all that fried chicken. I eventually packed up a to-go box and paid for it, only a pound of spinage and cherry tomatoes. I figured I was OK since they didn't weigh me entering the store, so they really had no idea how much I ate pre check out. It was my word against theirs.

Death of the two-6er?

There was a great article in Velonews about the death of the 26" Hardtail Bike. I can relate. About two weeks ago I gave the Hardtail another shot at glory. It was so light and responsive I thought for sure I was back on the HT tip. What a bad idea. It started out sweet on the smooth trails of Winter Park, but when I got to the dried mud ruts of Fraser I started going backwards. IT seemed like every rut caught and held the rear wheel for a second, and then released it in the opposite direction I wanted it to go. From results at the Nationals your were running 29 or full suss to survive. I think my friend Scottytime is right, 29'ers are going to be like shaped skis, eventually everybody's going to be on them. I better get the HT on craigslist before all the 40+ camelback riders figure it out. Here is what I want Carbon HT 29'er with an integrated seat post, and oversized, tapered head tube. Maybe even optimized for a single ring and 10 speed cassette.

Monday, July 20, 2009

You Decide

Pro man Pro Woman? You decide.



We all got screwed

George Hincapie - Screwed out of the yellow jersey

Me screwed out of 10 spots at the National Championships because USA cycling can't count.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

It wont go away.


I'm going to flag this dude for top-posting. Keep riding, not typing!

My idea first MIT

So some dudes at MIT came up with a trash tracking program to increase environmental awareness, and aswer just where does your coffee cup end up? I just wanted to state I had a similar thought after riding past the Lakewood sewage collection facility. I always wondered "is my poo in there?" I always envisioned a similar system to track it's journey.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Generously Oversized


Shouldn't you be keeping this as motivation?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

clear your agenda


Click it I dare you.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Seriously

Okay when I go to the National Championships, I was just really hoping I wouldn't smell fresh cut grass on the course. Ride it you'll understand.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The iphone depilatory instrument



I think I'm on to something. When I have my phone to my face my tiny, but robust whiskers get stuck between the bezel and the screen. This usually results in sharp facial pains. The same effect is noticed when I scratch my chin with the top of the phone while driving. Perhaps I should mention this to Apple? They never mentioned anything about lift and cut action on their website.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Puking Profile

With all of my technology, power meter, GPS, hr monitor, weaponized water bottles, and chain ring flame throwers, I was finally able to capture the exact moment of exercise induced vomiting.

I've been watching the Tour De France and noticed Mark Cavendesh bends so low in the sprints that he nearly licks his front wheel. I gave it a try in my interval session last night. The good thing is I shattered my previous 30 second powers. The bad thing is I interrupted the putting practice of several seniors at Bear Creak Golf Course. After my final rep my arms were numb, my breathing was asthmatic, but my stomach had a apocalyptic, unbelievably deep and powerful guttural growl. Needless to say I now know what 700 watts looks like in liquid format. The yellow circle is the moment of impact,just when my heart was able to direct blood back to my stomach. Todd Wells would blog about puking after an interval session that way he knew he was pinning it. Thank God I had my hand sanitizer.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Hand Sanitizer

For a couple of months know I've been filling zip-lock sandwhich bags with hand sanitizer, and then arranging them in file cabinet at work. I threw in a couple of old corded mouses I found in the IT closet, along with some crumpled paper. It looks like some futuristic coral reef, with breast implants. Quite stunning.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

It has returned to me

I've been struggling with this one. What do I do with this sock? It is so cool with it's yellow heart and rhombus thing.

I lost it's mate a solid three months ago. I've been using it as a "reserve" sock to pair up with my other cool socks with a horse on it. People don't seem to notice if you have two different socks on. I also tried to pawn it off on Scottytime. Even though he has the same socks he wasn't interested in a reserve. When was the last time someone offered you a reserve sock? That's downright civil in my book. Anyway it has returned to me. I think it was stuck to a towel. You see my house could solve the worlds energy crisis simply by tapping in to my static electricity generators. Did my yellow sock return to me just like the yellow jersey will return to Lance? We'll see.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Is there an app for that


Apparently Michaeal Jackson can't get enough of peoples "Cash and Prizes" You can get this cool app that memorializes him and keeps his face close to your junk. I can't think of a better reason to have one of those stupid belt holster cell phone holders than this. Oh and I guess the Apple store in North Carolina was held up, I gotta ask "Is there and App for that?" You heard it here first.

Weed Control

I think Mr. Laun was trying to tell me something. That something was is you don't love me anymore. I think he was pissed when I put him out in the rain, and he got hailed on. I would be pissed as well. As you can see my Laun has projected his frustrations in the most adolescent of ways. This is the turf-grass equivalent of getting a tattoo after your parents said no. Ladies is that tramp stamp still a good idea?
Yes that's a dandelion nesting in my Launs mid-section. How could you do this to me? I got the hint. I got out the scissors and started down to business. I tried to replicate the Fantastic Sams cut method. 1. So what are we doing today? Shave the back and sides and trim up the top. 2. Do you know what guard you used last time? #2 3. The neck rounded or blocked? Rounded. I didn't give Mr. Laun the option to look at the back in the mirror. Reason one, he doesn't have a neck and number two, he doesn't have eyes. Here are the results:
Here is where it gets a little weird (as if everyone cuts their grass with scissors) I busted out the lotion and went to work on each blade. I mean Mr. Laun can't have split ends if he's going to make it to the Masters Golf Course.

Talk about tedious work, but I got the time. I'm halfway through it at work today.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Dragon Slayer


Got 'Em by the balls!

Flying Pussy?

I saw a picture of "African" like lions proweling the White Ranch Trail head. Just then I turned my head only to see this cat climbing nothing. Obviously more dangerous than cats subject to the laws of gravity.



Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I love cottage cheese

I have a confession to make, I love cottage cheese. It must be like Ice Cream and women, by the way regardless of their sexual orientations all women love ice cream. If they don't it's not a women, but a terminator. Then again all women are terminators, programmed to take mens hearts and fold them in to vacuumed sealed sandwich bags. Only then can they step on them and the imprints of their shoe tread will remain visible. Enough on that, back to the cottage cheese.
I eat the stuff like it is going out of style. I'm afraid to buy the double tub because I'll eat the whole thing, and feel worse than eating the 12 oz tub. I have however been suckered in to buying the tub with chives mixed in, bad idea. Even worse is the pineapple abomination mixture, yak! Sometimes I go to Jason's Deli and get the salad bar. I end up coating my plat in 4" lifts of cottage cheese with spinage mixed in. A drizzle of balsamic vinegar, and a dollop of Hummus and I'm in ecstasy. You want to get some looks, put cottage cheese in an ice cream cone.