Jaco Petting Zones

My friend Hill is back from Law School in Cali. I have developed a matrix so she doesn't over pet her dog and cats, and injure herself or the animals in the process. See below. Let me clarify "Ball" is Ball-Throwing, as in catch. Not Balls.

PS. I f you like what you see I can create a custom pet petting plan based on your needs.

Killed It

You know it's going to be a good ski day when you level a Coyote on your drive up the hill. Apparently Blizzak snow tires provide equal traction on snow as well as medium sized mammals. In fact the ample siping traps small hairs for later species identification. After weeks of frustration and cursing the weather, the skiing was finally good. A group of us decided to burn a coveted Vail day, and we were not disappointed. Our first run did nothing to heighten our spirits, typical lame cruiser. However, a brief discussion with ski patrol, and white-out conditions provided us what we were looking for. Prima traditionally a bump run was seeing no skis, but tons of windblown powder. It became a race to see who could make the fewest turns down the thing. From the lift we then spied the North Rim. This guy has a mandatory air entry, made much more mandatory by early season snow pack. It was technically closed, but ski patrol only has so much rope. We always sent Manny down first. He had the greatest surface area to probe for rocks. He never found any, good thing he landed head first most of the time. The landings were a surprising thigh deep depth. We then blatantly skied through an obvious closure area and proceeded to devastate the Prima Cornice run. Sick, Sick, Sick. We were in knee deep, but the early snow pack accentuated the terrain making ample air opportunities. In the end 16 runs, 22,000 vertical, some 10 footers, not bad for a day you thought was going to suck.

Totally Innoculated

This morning I received all of my shots for Africa, its quite a laundry list of less than desirable conditions. My favorite part was the "Consultation" what seemed like common sense to me obviously is not to others. For example sex with the indigenous population. I was under the impression that HIV drips off the trees and runs down the streets in Africa. They recommended the use of a condom. Good tip, however American women don't seem to like me, why would African women? This is not going to be an issue (However Canadian women do seem to dig the MFK, weird.)

In the end I was punctured by no less than four needles and loaded up with three pill prescriptions. I think I'm going to test out all my new immunities this weekend. I think I'll drink some pond water, while eating some under cooked chicken off a public restroom floor. I might throw in some inappropriate activities with farm animals just to push the envelope. I also figure hand washing is no longer necessary, that's a plus.

MFK's Fine Candies

So I'm beginning to believe people will eat any Christmas related snacks and proclaim that they are great. Enter Dietrichs's fine chocolates.

Look how festive they are, I bet that one in the corner is tasty. However you are in the world of MFK's clinical experiments and tests. You have seen them before the Muffin Endurance Test, the half eaten sandwich affair, and the still to come Taco Bar Ultimate fighting championship. This is one is a bit sadistic. These little nuggets (and that is probably what they are) are one year old. You cans see by the date I wrote on the back last year, I've had them in my desk, just waiting.

I'm putting them in the kitchen for consumption. I'll report back on their situation in 24hrs.

Holiday BIM

I saw this on another blog, since I'm a geek, I liked it. It's kinda right up my alley why count it if the computer can do it better?

4-Ever

Seems like it's been forever since I last posted. I got back from about 2 Weeks straight of not being at home, or more importantly not being at work = no time to post on the blog. Ironic, yes.

I've started a cycling lifting program, but I've got to get a heavier bike. I'm just not going to see any gains lifting a 16 lb road bike. I get some looks in the gym. Speaking of the gym I'm formulating some good observations. I'll post a matrix of pudgy wannnabe ultimate fighter guys, and they say cyclist look dorky.

Can't Leave My Room

So I'm at a conference in Vegas, but I can't leave my room. You see there is a TV in the bathroom and all the porn channels are not blocked on it. I'm afraid if I turn it off they will go away. I've been sleeping in the bathtub.

Arthur Bryant's

Since I am in Kansas City I couldn't help but sample some of the finest Barbecue in the world. An enormous debate rages inside my stomach as to what is better Gates or Arthur Bryant's. I'll say for ambiance and authenticity, Arthur Bryant's is the leader. I mean the pit master is named Bacon.

Lets start with this sign, I counted 71 just one half of the seating area, not including staff.

You get to look at this as you wait in line.

Now this is a PIT, it takes a minimum of 40 years to develop the necessary black crust.

Meat pile, no effing around here. I wouldn't recommend suggesting tofu to these guys. That's not dirt around the pit,that's flavor!

Behind the Scenes, yes that is a trash can full of fries.

Burnt Ends Open Face sandwich, bitches. You know you want it.

Gate's Barbecue is Friday, still my favorite.

Bonding with my Turkey

I was gazing in to my refrigerator yesterday and I notices my turkey. He looked bored, and obviously has no idea as to what was about to happen to him. So I decided to get him drunk. I staked up beer around him, double wing style, as turkeys can't make fists. As the family watched TV at night I would here a kick, or distant scratch from the door. That was my sign that he needed another.

He was going through then at 2x10 to the 9th power. I said Earl, that's what I named him, they're going to pick you up with a stick and a spoon. That's when I realized I was they, and I was going to use a fork, or maybe just pull a leg off. I gave him another and patted him where I assumed his head would be.

Yard of Jimmy

So I've eaten 3 consecutive days of Jimmy Johns. So I figure I'm up to three feet plus of Jimmy so far.

How I feel

Finally someone else gets how I feel about TACO Bar, thanks HIll!

Chip Accessory Option

Holy Christ! Double Taco Bar Month! This time it came fully loaded with the chip accessory option.

This greatly expands the versatility of the beans and quac, brilliant.

TIP: When at the restaurant, just order all beans instead of rice and beans. Deep down everyone wants more beans but they are afraid to ask. Don't fear the legume.