I was gazing in to my refrigerator yesterday and I notices my turkey. He looked bored, and obviously has no idea as to what was about to happen to him. So I decided to get him drunk. I staked up beer around him, double wing style, as turkeys can't make fists. As the family watched TV at night I would here a kick, or distant scratch from the door. That was my sign that he needed another.
He was going through then at 2x10 to the 9th power. I said Earl, that's what I named him, they're going to pick you up with a stick and a spoon. That's when I realized I was they, and I was going to use a fork, or maybe just pull a leg off. I gave him another and patted him where I assumed his head would be.
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