Vegetarian Pirate Booty

Have you ever watched a Vegetarian eat?  We'll it goes like this they get a whole bunch of bread, they slice up tomatoes (50% think tomatoes are nasty), some squash, don't forget the sprouts. Then they rave about some random vegetable some body at whole foods told them about.  They usually pile on the cheese (holy crap the plant watering guy just scared the  crap out of me, talk about creepy) Then they talk about some bean that gives them protein, usually beans only supply me with gas. They end up with something like this

They then sit down take a bite and exclaim "Sooooooo Tasty, I can believe the bounty that the earth has provided for me!" Why am I bitter, well first off I probably need a hug, but more often than not the only left over meeting food is Vegetarian. If there were no Vegetarians, the above colon blow would be a turkey, or ham sub. Instead I'm subject to the offerings of the Boulder Community Garden. On the bright side I figure I've eaten easily $200 in free lunch in the last 12 months, which I parleyed in to a refurbed ipod this morning (thats a whole other saga)