How I killed the Salad Bar

I just wanted to document how I systematically destroyed the Granby, City Market Salad Bar. SO there I was 3 hours post Nationals XC, just about to drive home, and the bottom fell out of my stomach. In cycling speak it was a complete sidewall tear with a geyser of stans, arcing out 0f the void. Not even a tube was going going to fix that hole. I tore in to the parking lot, and fell out of my car, pretty spry for my post race coma state. When I arrived at the glory hole, a nice lady was packing up it's contents. She said it was closed, I said "how closed". She must have felt sorry for me and offered up the throw-away cart. I laid in to the cottage cheese like a weed-eater on the nats course, i even used the big serving spoon. Next up was the tuna salad, no more fish left in that sea. Then I spyed the holy grail of City Market salad bars, ham cubes. You see the Whole Foods salad bar is too good for ham cubes. The MFK has never met a ham cube he didn't like. I scraped the sides of that bucket like a frosting bowl, enjoying every semi-salty processed ham pleasure. At this point the little old lady was a little worried. I think she saw me eyeing the hot bar with all that fried chicken. I eventually packed up a to-go box and paid for it, only a pound of spinage and cherry tomatoes. I figured I was OK since they didn't weigh me entering the store, so they really had no idea how much I ate pre check out. It was my word against theirs.